All Because Of You 所有由於您
by eM.pHi
Summary: What would you do if the person you love, who loved you in return left you for reasons unknown? Would you let it be, and move on with your life? Or would you fight for another chance? A story of 2 lovers, broken by time and brought together by fate. U
1. I An Untouchable Memory

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What would you do if the person you loved, who loved you in return, left you for reasons unknown? And although you try to understand, you just can't seem to grasp the reason why…  
Would you simply let it be then? And move on, as if it were another relationship in time, or would you stay and fight? Fight for another chance to be within their heart once more? This is a story of two lovers, broken by time… and brought together by fate…

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_I do not own SM _

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**It's All Because of You  
(Rated MA) **

_eM.pHi _

**I. An Untouchable Memory **

_Untouchable memories seem to keep haunting me…  
a love so true, that once turned all my grey skies blue…  
but you disappeared now my eyes are filled with tears…  
now that you're gone I just don't know what to do… _

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_I know what you're all thinking… "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?" but please hear me out :). After reading my stories again during the moments when I was free from Uni work, I was sad (and also a little disgusted) at the lack of **me** in each chapter. I was contemplating on writing the next chapter with heaps of **me** in it, but then realized that if I did such a thing, nothing would make sense; the story would no longer flow. _

_Yes, there were heaps of emotion and everything in the old **ALL BECAUSE OF YOU**, but reading it caused me to kind of cringe. I'm not an angst person my nature, and therefore found that I had to change this around some way. Therefore after brainstorming, I thought it best to START FREASH! And revise this story from the beginning. _

_Although there are some similarities, this story is slightly different (you'll see why when you read xD) Please bear with me and enjoy… :) _

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I was starring at her at that very moment… watching as crystal cobalt eyes dropped their align vision from mine to stare idly at the dusted floor below us. She seemed cold… distant… like she wanted to be anywhere but near me at this very moment… and that thought broke me into pieces…  
_Look at me…_ I pleaded over and over in my mind… _just look at me…_, but her eyes never moved and the thought of this being a joke starts to fade further and further from my mind. "Look at me…" I whispered, too scared to break the quiet atmosphere that surrounded the both of us, yet still, her eyes seemed to be glued to the ground at my feet rather than look up at my pain stricken face. She said something to me then, it was so gentle… like a whisper within the wind, that if I weren't so focused on her I know I would've missed it…

How I wish I did…

Suffocation… that was what it felt like the moment those words escaped her cherry red lips it seemed to die in the air around us, but it surrounded my like a strong pair of hands curling themselves around my neck… I wanted to walk up to her, shake her back into her senses, yell, scream, holler at her until my voice was coarse and dry, and yet I couldn't… I stood there, feet cemented into the ground as I watched her through my blurred vision… surprised to feel tears soaking my face…

I was crying…

Helplessly, I watched as she stood there looking as beautiful as ever… like an angel sent down from god to heal my soul… but she wasn't healing me… no… she was breaking me… tearing my insides apart… it felt like heavy bricks were pushing itself upon me… upon my soul, my being… and my heart. It was crushing me, crushing me with such a force that it was hard to talk, to breathe… to do anything. My heart began to break, that day… it was shattering into thousands and thousands of pieces… falling like sand between cracks of fingers…

And suddenly I feel my life slowly drain away from me…

"It's over Mamoru… I'm sorry… but it's for the best…"

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A hand waves before my face and I blink in confusion, focusing my eyes, I waited until the image ahead of me sharpened to a beautiful girl sitting before me. She smiles and I can't help but smile return it, even though it was a little half arsed, and the grin didn't exactly reach my eyes as it did hers, it was still a smile nonetheless. The memory that had surprisingly resurfaced from the back of my mind begins to slowly fade and my dream world disappears into nothing but just that. A dream world… a mere memory… where only the harsh truths of reality lies ahead of me.

"Mamoru, are you listening to me?" I give a firm nod of the head, and watch in slight amusement as her posture changes from someone looking slightly concerned at her older brother to looking quite annoyed. I clear my thoughts as well as my throat and give her an apologetic look, trying to soften her hardened face by my pitiful attempt at the puppy dog eyes, "I'm sorry my dear sister, but it seems that my mind is suddenly full of thoughts today, what were you saying again?" _Focus Chiba_, I discipline myself, stop thinking about the incident from all those years ago! It's in the past, and you haven't even seen her since that fateful day, just forget about her!

Yet even though I try to agree with my screaming mind, scolding me for thinking of such nonsense, I couldn't help but feel my heart lurch in a different wave link. Deep down I knew that my heart just wanted to cling to the last memory that I had of her in my soul… the image of her looking so heavenly and yet so crushed caused the contractions of my living muscle to rip and pull continually over and over again in my body, sending cold shivers up and down my spine… why now after so long have I began to think of her again…? Was this a sign…? Or was god just playing a cruel trick on me again…?

"You've been spacing out lately Mamoru, what's the deal? Did you lose another girlfriend?" my heart cringes at her last line and I feel the pit of my stomach sink to the bottom of my feet, yet I show no emotion but amusement as I take a sip of my wine. In almost an annoyingly slow motion, I watched with half closed eyes as her face hardens even more, if possible as she waits _patiently_ for me to answer. Ignoring her tapping finger upon the table, I let the cold liquid enter my being, and like fire, it spreads through my soul like flames to a wooden house, and alights me with a feeling, of content, even if I felt nothing but emptiness inside…

Chuckling at her ladylike grunt, I lower the glass from my lips and place it steadily upon the table, "you make me sound like a heartless fool dear Rei, I'm nothing of the sought". She snorts and I can't help but chuckle once again, having only been just raised by a high classed family, she knew and acted nothing like how she was meant to, or at least how society pictured people from high class to be. I suppose you get that when you find yourself suddenly thrown from a world you knew, to a world so heartless and cold.

I watched as her hair falls freely from the tops of her head, and down upon her shoulders, it used to be longer, almost to the small of her back, but recently she thought she needed a change, and although I preferred her with longer hair, she still looked as beautiful as ever. Like the woman who had given birth to me, she adored the Chiba trademark of lovely raven hair. Yet unlike me her eyes were the colour of an amethyst pearl, whilst mine adorned the colour of a crystal sapphire blue – seeing how we came from different fathers only caused us to look like nothing of the brother and sister that we were.

"She wanted to move in with me" I said uncaringly, shrugging my shoulders, I try to ignore Rei's eyes as it bores into mine, pretending to take another sip of wine from my quickly empting glass, I try to push the guilt that gnarled at my stomach. It seemed that throughout the years when I knew nothing of a sister existing in my life until now, that only she could make me feel such emotions as happiness, sadness, fear, hope and amusement… such emotions that seemed so useless to me brims over when I'm surrounded my sister…

Although it was a cold slap in the face when I realized my mother had cheated on my father with another man, I couldn't bring myself to hate Rei, nor could I bring myself to hate the woman who had given me life. I must admit, my father wasn't the best of husbands, never showed his emotions to anyone, it was like he locked away his feelings deep within his heart, and threw away the key, scared that if anyone were to find it, he would be destroyed by others criticism…

However, when my father had died, and so had Rei's father, I took both her and my mother under my wing, and only when my mother passed away was the moment I let Rei see my any emotions that I held. And until this day, I still couldn't figure out why I had done so… could it be that her personality reminded me so much of a particular golden hair angel that I had once loved so many years ago? Both girls had a strong and stubborn heart. Their personalities matched with one another with such acuity that I knew if Rei had the chance to meet her, she would understand why I was holding others at arms length from me…

"She was just another girl my dear sister… just another girl…"

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The phone rings and I ignore it on instinct. Silently thanking the man who created the answering machine. Life had gotten so much easier since the installation of my answering machine begun. No longer had I had to get up from an intriguing case to answer the phone, nor had I had to pause a movie when it was at its most exciting to answer the phone… no, now all I have to do is sit back and relax, while the creation that I have slowly began to love does the work for me… how I loved technology…

The machine beeps after my voice rings throughout the hall, and upon interest, I wait, ears pricked as I hear no sound coming from the machine. I turn to it and raise my eyebrows in confusing, almost as if I were questioning it, in the midst of turning back to my work, I heard a soft rustling from the line and scrunch my brows in confusion and slight fear, there **_is_** someone there, it wasn't noticeable before, but the light intake and outtake of breaths could be heard. Nerves slowly start to rack my being as I inch closer and closer to the machine. Willing myself that if I were to pull out the phone line then everything would turn back to normal.

Everything would go back to the way it was were I would go back sitting on my chair and scrutinizing over the case study that I had been given by my secretary. The lovely woman, who seemed to be around my age, or a few years younger, enjoyed working long and hard hours, even when her car and clothes shouted otherwise. The moment I had seen her walking through the door, I knew she would do well in this company. Although her Gucci suit and Chanel sunglasses showed me a totally ignorant person, by looking at each stride she had and the air of confidence around her, had me liking her, rather than become intimated.

I suppose another reason why I felt drawn to this lovely lady would also be the fact that I held such an air myself. And within minutes of being introduced, we clicked, starting on a lovely friendship – and even though not a long friendship as it is, considering that she had only been my secretary for about a month now. However my thoughts are broken when I hear dead line on the phone. The mysterious person had hung up and has left me feeling slightly unnerved, and no longer feeling safe in my comfy home. Curse whoever it is for making a normal winter day into something so undeniably out of pattern.

Gathering my things I head out the door, maybe a nice stroll down the block would do some good? Nodding slightly I began my trek, somehow wondering into the life that I once had… to the life that I have now… life has become so repetitive. Another case with another rapist, but I suppose that's what you get when you apply yourself only to family law. Being a woman, I suppose that's what got me to think and act so strongly about it, I feel the need to fight for the rights of children and females around the world who had to suffer under a sick and disturbed man…

Such bastards who dare take the innocence away from a young girl, and scaring the soul of a woman's life, do not deserve to live, let alone set free to rave havoc again in society. And even though I see such views to the opposite sex, I still find myself falling for the worst of men. Men who already have a family, men who are so stricken by the gambling bug that they continually grovel at your feet for money, men who hurt you…

Sighing I wrap the scarf tighter around my neck, the cool winter air, though not so strong, was still biting at my cheeks, causing them to tingle in a burning sensation as my skin tries to warm up the cool surface. Throughout the years I have come to realize that humans are such selfish creatures… we are bought into a harsh reality where death is inevitable and life can not be taken for granted, and yet we still take things we want, thinking nothing of the things we actually need…

We don't realize this… of cause not until we have lost it all… stupid isn't it? when you have nothing, a nobody in society, a _lower class_, you had everything in the world… a family that adored you, friends that you could spend hours on end talking to… but most of all… you had love. That is until you have become _something_ in life, something worth giving a second glance to… you have nothing at all… there is no love…

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Natarii smiles at me, eyes shinning like amber jewels, they twinkled with innocence in the light that the chandler gave us, and yet I could see the sly, cunning look her eyes held, believing, thinking that she had me already wrapped around her manicured fingers. I curse myself for falling so easily into Rei's puppy-dog-eyes trap, and try hard not to grunt with annoyance and agitation. I know what would be coming next from her mouth, and yet I wanted to be wrong. "I knew you couldn't leave me like that Mamoru…" she whispered in that annoyingly husky voice, "you love me too much…"

I cringe, almost visibly at her word choice. Love… just that simple word no longer seemed to hold such meaning within my mental dictionary. Love to me was just another word, another word in which an old and forgotten life had once held such a strong grasp onto… but not now, never now…

"That isn't it Natarii," I say flatly, hiding all my emotions through my blank face as I took a long and finishing sip of my wine, knowing all too well that I really needed to stop drinking such alcohol if I wanted to stay alive for longer than 30 years of age. My face stayed void of emotions as the glass moved from my lips back onto the table, it was a face I had become used to after so many clients and girlfriends in the past. "I'll admit, you're a beautiful girl, you're smart and well mannered, but I am not ready for a serious commitment, I invited you to dinner tonight to tell you that what I had said the other night was true, it is in fact over." She gasps, and I feel her bewilderment shine through those thick lashes of hers. I stand to leave, placing a few notes onto the table. While gathering my coat I look at her again; she stares at me, wide eyes, knowing all too well what I would be saying next "I hope we could still be friends…"

Walking out the door, I feel her gaze burning into my back, from experience, I know that by turning around and looking at her blushed face in a mix of embarrassment and anger, would only cause her to fly off the racket and attack me in public, forgetting her status as a high class, and abolish me with words of fury and nails of death. Sighing once I was outside into the cool winter air, I run a hand through hair, causing it to become even messier than it naturally was. Just another night with another breakup date, and deep down I knew that although the relationship seemed perfect at first, I always managed to find some flaw, something that didn't seem right with the girl. Whether it is from their too high voice, from their annoying habit of fluttering their eyelashes in a way that they thought was sexual, to which I found utterly agitating, I had no idea…

Although I don't and never have categories myself in the column of _playboy, _I still feel that my meddling to the female species has placed me in there without my consent. It was not like I never loved those girls because I did. It was just that… love was such a useless word; it was just that, a word. A word that meant nothing really, nothing when there was no feeling within it… I during the first month of a new relationship, I find myself… withdrawn. Somehow nothing seemed right, seemed complete… happy… with those girls. Sure they were all beautiful, with bodies to die for, and the sex was unbelievable, no one seemed to measure up to _her… _

Somehow it seemed that I had created a psychological block, where no matter how hard those girls tried, how well they treated me, how much they loved me… I'd never let them reach me, reach that level of complete… understanding… love…, and I believed that because deep down, in my heart and soul, I knew that none of those girls would never have as much love from me, as much as _her…_ Ionic isn't it? Strange no matter how hard they tried, they couldn't have my love, couldn't show me as much love as _she _had done so many years ago… and yet, even though I know that she had left me, I still couldn't bring myself to lower that barrier. She had walked out of my life for no reason… she just left… and yet I still couldn't leave her behind…

With her, it was true love, and how I'd kill for that feeling again, I wanted true love, but true love could never be found… it was an ongoing cycle, of wanting something… being so close to getting it, only to realize that it wasn't even as close to what you wanted in the first place… an ongoing – confusing cycle, _she_ was always in the back of my mind, her name nagging at my soul, slowly eating away the man that I am… sighing once again, I watch as my breath causes a white smoke to form above my face before disappearing until nothing…

Realizing that no matter how hard I tired… she will always be apart of me, she will always be in my heart… the one and only girl who would ever love me… as much as I love her…

_Tsukino Usagi…_

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**Fin. **

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_so yes… that's the first chapter the new REVISED version of **ALL BECAUSE OF YOU**, please review and tell me what you think! Chapters are a little longer, and more detailed. I promise I wont go back to writing tiny little chapters anymore! Feedback will be greatly appreciated:)_

_love eM.pHi_


	2. II  Wash Away My Tears

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What would you do if the person you loved, who loved you in return, left you for reasons unknown? And although you try to understand, you just can't seem to grasp the reason why…  
Would you simply let it be then? And move on, as if it were another relationship in time, or would you stay and fight? Fight for another chance to be within their heart once more? This is a story of two lovers, broken by time… and brought together by fate…

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_I do not own SM _

**It's All Because of You  
(Rated MA)**

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_eM.pHi _

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**II. Wash Away My Tears **

_If only you were here, you'd wash away my tears…  
the sun will shine, and once again you'll be mine…  
since you've been gone there's such an emptiness inside…_

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_I was a little hesitant about this story at the beginning. Although a lot of people didn't really like the thought of me starting again, I feel I __**had**__ to. Please understand that I did it because I wanted to, and knew that if I wanted to portray to everyone that I was a good writer I would have to do so.  
Other than that I'm thoroughly relieved that it all worked out fine :) the reviews, favourites and alerts were wonderful and totally made my day! Thank you!_

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The afternoon was bright and sunny, yet the cool winter air that brushed past exposed skin gave people a shudder or two. Even though it was nowhere near the cooler season as of yet, Mother Nature did always liked to play games. Grumbling I pull the jacket closer around my neck, the cool air was chilling me to the bones, causing long and ecstatic shivers to run up and down my spine where even large amounts of woolly materiel couldn't cover. Rei had reminded me to wear a scarf today, but I scoffed at her idea. Me, Mamoru Chiba wearing a scarf (which was oddly pink, even though she insisted it was red) would be in the same category as me wearing a Santa suit and harassing people for change in the middle of May.

I was never a big fan of winter; in fact the damn weather gave me such a foul mood at times that it drove me, and usually Rei insane with annoyance. My temper was limited to a thin thread in winter, my appearance was haggard and scrooge like in winter, and my ability to stay awake was such a difficult and sometimes such a painful task that often, I find myself waking up in my office at near dawn. Me and winter just didn't go hand in hand.

Like today for instance, after that… incident at the restaurant last night with Natarii, I feared going home and getting scolded by Rei for my reckless behaviour, and something along the lines of _breaking yet another girl's heart_… so thought it be… best avoided… therefore I resorted to the comforts of my office towards the City district, telling myself that I will start (and hopefully) finish the files that needed to be completed before the merger took suit. However once I was half way through reading the first contract, the cooling air around the office, and the ghost like whispers of the wind outside made me drowsy with sleep…

I was sure I'd only closed my eyes for a few minutes… yet here I was walking around mid morning the following day, with a slight hunger in my stomach and the undeniable feeling of irritation and loneliness. Irritated because of the unbelievably cold air that hung like a terrible stench and yet lonely because there were so many damn couples around. I felt the pit of my stomach churn in response when I came upon two couples in a passionate kiss. Have they no shame? Showing such affections out in public really wasn't needed. If people had wanted such things they would rent out romance movies, or if they were hardcore enough – porn.

Shaking my head in annoyance at the couple I lowered my gaze, there was no need to see such affections when one was obviously completely lonely. Walking swiftly, at an abnormally fast pace, I kept my eyes firmly on the ground as I made my way, hunched back, through the busy streets of Hong Kong. Suddenly starting to feel home sick I couldn't help but miss the quiet and lazy atmosphere of Japan. Everything was so simple then, so… carefree… you couldn't walk down a street without seeing someone you knew, or who knew you… everyone was friends with everyone else… people were happy… **I **was happy… but I lost that happiness… all too many years ago…

It was a day similar to this, if I recall correctly, the sky above was bright and sunny odd for a winter's day, and people were milling around holding hands, giggling and talking about what they would do during the winters break. I remember watching her from afar before I approached her that day… watched as she giggled at the childish acts children around her were doing, to seeing her crystal cobalt eyes soften at the sight of an elderly couple, still very much in love… I remember feeling my eyes become softer at her beauty, and my heart grew with such adoration for her… she was mine… my one and only love…

How time can change such things… now I doubt she even remembers my name…

Taking in a deep breath, as if to vent out the stupid past that has somehow, suddenly begun to build up within me, and letting it go, I watched as the air clouds over in a bubble of smoke by my mouth, before dying down to nothing but an even colder midst in front of my face. Grumbling, I began to walk faster. Maybe if I were to hurry home – despite the shouts and raves I would be receiving from Rei – I would be much warmer, and dare I say… sane.

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She was staring at the clock impatiently, as if daring it to go any slower. Her long manicured nails tapped restlessly upon the arm of the cream sofa in which she sat upon. Her short shouldered length raven hair, which was normally kept with such promise, frayed around her in disarray. From the dark circles underneath her eyes and the agitated look that she gave to employees within the household, who scrambled off at her intense stare, it was evident that she had stayed up the previous night waiting for a particular man to arrive home. To say that she was disappointed, annoyed and dangerously murderous was an understatement. Upon hearing about the wonderful display of a public break up last night, involving her brother and a humiliated female companion, who also happened to be one of her friends, she was close to seeing red.

She couldn't understand the man that she called her brother, he was strange, and had a personality so far from hers that it was sometimes such a hassle to try and figure him out, that she usually found herself giving up in pure exasperation. She was sure that his lack of _interest _of the female sex has nothing to do wit the possibility that he questioned his looks, as Rei had caught him many times in the bathroom mulling over his wrinkles or the hardly noticeable zit that he clamed to have appeared. His cabinet was filled with creams and facial peels that would put a woman's cabinet to shame for crying out loud!

Under normal circumstances, Rei found herself, although thoroughly disappointed, indifferent about his personal life involving ladies from all around the world. However, this particular lady friend in which her dear brother had decided to _snag _happened to be one of Rei's, overly dramatic, yet close friend! And if that wasn't enough, Rei had to go through the night listening to consent wailing and crying from the woman _while the Neanderthal does god knows what!_

The door crept open and Rei's eyes shot towards the sound, knowing all to well that her _dear _brother had finally decided to return home. Gripping the sofa arm in an almost killing reflex, she watched, with predatory eyes, as the raven hair man walked swiftly from the door past the living room, where she sat, to the base of the grand staircase, at such a speed that it was almost blind to the naked eye.

But being known to have sharp eyes, the sight of her brother was all too clear. Before Mamoru could place a foot upon the base of the staircase, Rei's chillingly calm voice rang through the air, "well, well, well… if it isn't my _darling _brother… what an interesting night it was for the both of us…" she purred, like a lioness ready to pounce upon her prey. She grinned, a grin so large that it bore two pairs of sharp canine teeth from both top and bottom row.

From her position she could see her brother visibly gulp. Knowing all too well; however the fearless and emotionless person he may appear to others, to a fellow Chiba, he was nothing more than a softy. He chuckled nervously, running a hand through his already messy hair, "Hello dear sister, you look astonishingly beautiful this morning, have you done new something to your hair?" he asked in a terrifyingly sweet voice.

"If you call this" she said pointing to herself "beautiful, than I fear that not only have you temporarily lost what little mind you had left, but you have somehow also gone blind!" her voice rising an octave higher with each syllable that she spoke until the last word uttered was so hight it caused the household to wince in pain.

Mamoru put his hands up in defence, trying to calm his raging sister; although knowing all too well that by doing so would render useless. Still he guessed he couldn't blame Rei for not understanding him. It wasn't as if he presented himself fregit from the ladies that surround him, far from it actually, seeing as he'd kept her awoke most of the nights from his companions consent moaning from down the hall. But _honestly! It's not like she __**liked**__ Natarii that much either! _He thought, trying to stop the urge to roll his sapphire eyes at her. Even if he loved his darling sister with all his heart, he just couldn't understand why she was being so moody.

Well he supposed he couldn't be too judgemental. Rei and Natarii were friends after all, and being the… possessive and overly dramatic person that Natarii is, he had a strong hunch that she had called Rei up right after that moment and wailed uncontrollably over the phone to her until dawn. And though he was grateful that his lovely sister cared so much to worry over him and his life, he wished that she would stop, and live her life to her fullest, instead of wasting it away like he was…

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I growled deep within my throat, it frustrated me to no end that he was acting so calmly about this matter! He was a fool! Why would he want to be so damn stupid? I knew he was hurting inside for some reason, and even though I try to weasel it out of him he still keeps up the act of being the jolly Chiba, brush if off with a simple wave of his hand and the all too familiar line _nothing to worry about dear sister, it was just another girl_. Does he honestly believe that I would worry less if I knew why he chooses to be so lonely? _The complete idiot! _I thought, baring my teeth in an angry scowl at his retreating back. Anyone with half a brain would know that Mamoru Chiba was lonely. It was so evident in his eyes…

Shaking my head, I couldn't help but still feel great dislike for my own flesh and blood at this particular moment in time. He was acting like a five year old, like a child! Toying with people's feelings like that! Doesn't he know that by hurting other people, it does nothing to cover up his own pain? By hurting others, his just putting more oil onto his own ache… so many people talk about the feeling, of being hurt, in songs, through movies, in poetry… but I know that he's the only person understanding their meanings… he was the only one feeling the pain… and although the smart and handsome prodigy of my mothers first husband, I feel that Mamoru has a lot to learn when it came to love.

Sometimes I wish I could slap some sense into that thick skull of his.

Yet I couldn't help but noticed that bits of he's personality reminded me so much of a friend I had back in the collage days. She was well mannered, tall, blonde and very strong minded. Her motto was always '_go hard or go home' _but even with that persona, from getting to know her I knew she was a kind hearted girl, gentle yet broken inside. I could still remember moments when I would catch her drifting off into her own world… and if you were to look closely enough, you could see the pain that was in her eyes, the hurt and loneliness that cried out for help… there were so many things in her past that I couldn't even measure up to.

She held such an air about her that, despite her small frame and angel like appearance, she was stubborn and one hell of a debater. Her voice would rise with each statement she had, and her ability to walk with such confidence made me envious at times. She had taught me heaps, how to stay strong through tough times and how to stick to what I believe in.

"_Your heart is the strongest muscle in your body. If you have passion for something, show it." _

I hadn't seen her since I'd moved in with my brother 10 months ago, back when I knew nothing of a brother. However, once I had found out, thanks wonderfully to my mother who happened to blub it out when she was hospitalised, I felt… reluctant to share my life with a stranger and therefore stayed with her. She was generous and although she worked non stop at the hospital, she was always full of energy. From last I heard she now works at this big law firm in the city district. And although she hates it there, the money is 'godly…'

Sighing once more, I head towards my room. Running a hand through my terribly messy hair, how at times I missed the length of it, but it was beginning to be irritating when it fizzled in the warmer seasons. At least now it was simpler to manage, not to mention it's totally with the fashion trend. Walking past his room I growled, no matter how of a good mood I was in, he's stupidity drove me up the wall! There's no use in trying to teach an old dog new tricks, and with such a thick headed skull such as his, the ability to get any sense into him would be nothing but a big, fat, waste of time!

Once inside my room I run and fall happily upon my bed. Due to Natarii's insistent crying last night, I hadn't had the opportunity to catch any shut eye. What I need right now is a good slice of cake and coffee and a nice friend to bitch too! Maybe I should call her up and try to catch up on old times… _i'd do it tonight_ I thought, as I closed my eyes, awaiting sleep with open arms…

However, it seemed that god decided differently as my cell phone began to ring continuously beside my head. Grumbling I was ready to ignore the call, believing that if it were important, they would simply leave a message… however my hands stopped in their track when I saw the name flashing upon the LCD.

_Minako Aino…?_

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**Fin.**

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Review and make me happy :3_


	3. III Searching For Love

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_I do not own SM _

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**It's All Because of You  
(Rated MA) **

_eM.pHi _

**III. Searching For Love**

_The sun would shine, and once again you'd be mine…  
but in reality you and I would never be…  
because you took your love away from me…_

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_I feel that in order to continue with this story I need to let some people know what is currently on my mind. _

_As stated in the **PREVIOUS 2** chapters, I felt the **NEED** to start again, as after reading the previous story I realised that it **SUCKED**, there were **INCOMPLETED BLOCKS** within the story, and that at points **NOTHING SEEMED TO FLOW**. That is why I have decided to **START AGAIN**. Please take note that I will **NOT **be finishing off the old story just to make people happy, there is no point **AS MY HEART IS NO LONGER IN IT!**_

_Other than that, I would like to thank everyone for the lovely reviews. This story is therefore dedicated to those who like, agree or simply doesn't mind reading this revised version :3_

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The phone was ringing, the sound was deafening but I couldn't help but hold onto it tighter… _pick up… please pick up…_ I thought, praying, knowing my knuckles were turning white from the death grip I was putting onto the phone, but no one answered, and it had kept on ringing and ringing, dropping my grip off the phone slightly, I could feel my resolve to talk, to let it all out, became weaker and weaker… maybe it was a sign… a sign from god… telling me that no matter what happened… no one could care… no one would listen… maybe god was never there for me… as I had thought…

In the midst of hanging up I hear her crisp voice echo through the phone, my heart pounds for unknown reasons and my grip on the phone becomes stronger. Was it the fact that I was nervous in asking for help after showing her such a strong side of me for so long? Or could it be that I have finally become the thing I most detested in the world… a weakling…? A pitiful person who didn't deserve the air to breathe…? Either one… I knew she was the only one that could help me…

"Minako? Is that you?" I hear her ask me, her voice had changed… it had become more… mature, stronger. "Minako?" I want to tell her that it is me, but my voice seemed to have betrayed me, becoming caught on nothing, making it difficult to breathe, to do anything… and in horror, what was meant to be a quick and professional 'yes' turned into a heart wrenching cry of something inaudible. The thought of becoming something I never wanted to become, caused me to cry even louder, and after so long I have turned into something I promised myself I would never be… I have become the one person I dedicated my life to protecting… I've become my own mother… weak with fears…

Being an only child within the family, I felt the need to protect my mother when she was crying over the simplest things, sometimes wondering that if I were to have a bother, would things be different? I had always adored my mother, I had loved her spirit, it was so gentle and kind, just what all mothers were stereotyped to be… but my mother wasn't a stereotype… she was real… but it seemed that the world had slashed at her kind and gentle soul, for she would cry over small things… like spilt milk, a hair upon her head out of place, or when she broke something accidentally due to her clumsy and shaky hands… anything that seemed so… unimportant seemed to crash and burn around her, causing her to drop to her knees in a fit of tears, begging me over and over again to forgive her…

Although then I had no idea why she was like that, I would dumbly nod my head, hold her within my tiny arms and tell her that it was okay… _"I still love you mummy…"_ it was odd that a small child was comforting her own mother, and at times I questioned this situation… in books and movies the mother was always the shoulder the child needed when something bad had happened to them, not like this… not like us… yet it wasn't until the night that my father had come home early after being sacked from work yet again, that I realised why my mother was so terrified of small things…

I always thought myself to be a heavy sleeper, going to bed right after dinner and not waking up until it was bright and early the next day… I remember that day as if it were yesterday… I had felt sick in the stomach all day, throwing up food in which I consumed… and because of this, that night I had skipped dinner. I remember pouring it down the sink when mother was looking, doing it quickly so she wouldn't cry over something that I had done… I remember feeling as if I had betrayed my mother that night… but I had pushed that feeling aside, it was only one dinner after all.

I had never been so wrong…

That night I lay awake listening to the sobs of my mother getting louder… while my fathers angry shouts grew in ten folds. Crashing, slamming and the sound of skin against skin could be heard, as her cries echoed through the hallways… the noise was deafening… it shock my soul and like a sharp knife, it slashed at my heart… that night I found out my father was an abusive man, and had been so since the night he married my mother… that following night I helped my mother escape…

That night my father died…

"Rei… I need your help…"

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I couldn't sleep that night, pieces of the conversation kept replaying over and over in my mind. I felt restless, concerned and… fear…? All these emotions haven't been felt in my being in so long that it caused me to become confused and extremely agitated, more than I was before. I could tell everyone knew about my mood, as they all walked about on thin ice, making sure not to make _oil_ my anger, even Mamoru stayed clear of me… though for what reason I wasn't too sure… but from the looks of worry that crossed his face when I caught him staring at me… I could tell… he wanted to know what was on my mind… but I couldn't tell him…

What could I say…?

It wasn't until the next evening that I was out, walking down towards the same street that I had done for the past three years of my life, the street in which I found a haven, where peace was found… yet as I was walking down this particular street this time, I felt the pit of my stomach jump in concern and fear. Only when something had drastically occurred in her life would she ask for help like she had that night, I never knew something that had occurred could also be life threatening… last night was the first time I had heard her sound so helpless… and tonight was the first time I saw it.

When I had entered her apartment, I had expected it to be a mess, to be covered in shattered glass and plates, filled with hate and angry… but it was as neat as ever, everything was in place, nothing seemed wrong… that is, if you missed the heap on the floor with dark circles under her eyes and a knife in her hands. My heart cringe within my body, as the imagine she presented was nothing to the strong woman I knew her to be… she was nervous and twitchy and just by starring at her shaken form… I knew she was hurt… physically, mentally and emotionally…

Her eyes darted around the room in fear, reacting in a way that it seemed like she was readying herself for a death match, where any minute now someone could come in and destroy us all… she looked like the angel that she always was… but her wings have been tainted, and her soul has been crushed… she was falling… and falling hard down into the hard surface of the world…

I whispered her name, feeling that if I were to talk loudly, the pieces of her sanity that she was holding onto ever so tightly would crumble and she would be no more… It surprised me when I realised I knew nothing about her from all the years that I had stayed with her, I had felt it to be rude, to ask your saviour of their past, which it seemed they tried so hard to hide… but it wasn't until she had told me the previous night about how her father was abusive to her mother… did I truly understand her pain…

I had thought my life was worse… but I couldn't even compare the two… her mother was being abused by the worst of men, having a line of previous wives in which he had abused also… and being the kind hearted women Minako always presented her mother to be, her mother had been feeding her sleeping pills within her meals to keep her oblivious to the monster her mother was living with, in order for her to have a normal and free life…

It had surprised me at first, yet after hearing about her past; I understood why she was so strong minded and stubborn beyond measure. She had been through so much… more than anyone could ever imagine. She seemed so unbeatable, and after so long her past was haunting her… the moment I had walked up to her and allowed her to cry her soul out within my arms, I couldn't stop hating myself for letting her go through this alone… seeing the cuts and bruises upon her once porcelain skin made my blood boil in a need for revenge.

She had told me so many stories of a guy she had meant recently… yet I keep forgetting that contact between us had stopped for the past year… and when she needed me most… I was in my own world worrying about what soap I should use in order to keep my skin feeling healthy… how foolish and selfish could I get? She was all alone, wanting nothing more that peace, love and happiness to enter her world… yet she got nothing but the complete opposite…

Watching her holes upon the walls of her home, I couldn't help but grip onto her tighter… tonight I would be her mother… like she had been mine for so long…

"_I… I think I killed him Rei…"_

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Its funny how one never really realises how lonely one is until the truth comes roaring from every corner and slaps you upon the face. Not once today have I felt my confidence give a massive haul to the bottom of my shoes after realising that yet again, I have managed to find myself in a place where couples seem to only exist, while the singleton – myself – stands out like a sore thumb. It seemed that no matter where I look, my gaze lands upon a couple within a passionate, and dare I say, disturbing kiss. Don't get me wrong though, its not that I'm against the motion of love, I'm the person who believes in _make love not war _kinda thing, but after seeing so much affection – too much affection – being passed between two people within the span of half an hour, the sight truly starts to become sickening.

_Get a room…_ I thought annoyingly, trying hard not to roll my eyes at them. I'm an adult after all, and being the mature adult that I am, I will reframe myself from acting like a disgusted child.

It worried me that it seems they find great satisfaction in giving the crowd a nice pg-rated show. And people wonder why kids these days find themselves pregnant at 16 or end up having a high case of STI. Really, who does this? "Well at least I'm not the only one…" I murmur quietly to myself, as I stare interestingly at the man walking towards my direction. With a hunched back, and walking at a quick pace, I believe that I'm not the only one realising this great show of soft-core pornography, as the couple have decided to slightly grope each other in, of cause, a sensible way – as sensible as you can get in public, but he also.

There was something oddly familiar about the man though, and even if I try to convince myself that I was only drawn to him by his lack of partner, I couldn't stop my stupid nagging brain, that it could be something else _like his face for instance…_ he was handsome, extremely handsome. The way he walked, although hunched back to stop the cold breeze passing us, still gave him the air of authority, of high-class. Maybe it was the fact that I had a weakness for dark haired man and the way that his raven locks seem to fall ever so messily and graciously around his defined face… I couldn't help but feel the pit of my stomach launch at the feeling of desire…

Dear god, the sexually driven couple have somehow converted me into becoming one of them.

Shaking my head as fast as I could to rid the image of his naked body pressed up against mine, as his large hands roll over my own… "oh god" I mutter before standing up quickly and beginning to rush towards home _at least there I can think for myself… having that damn couple there is messing with my mind…_ but before I could even fathom what happened between the time of me thinking about his strong body up against mine and the idea of running home I find myself crushed between a warm solid brick and comforting arms.

A rumble passes through me as I hear his deep and rich chuckle "it seems that dear Rei was wrong about me…" he had said, and for that instant I melted within his arms… they were so warm and… safe… a feeling I haven't felt in the longest possible time… not since… well… it'd been so long I don't even remember! "Are you quite alright little girl?" he asked me, and I feel myself blushing in embarrassment and anger.

So I'm not exactly tall for my age, and when wearing overbearing jackets as I am now, I look twice as young. But that gave him no right to assume that I was something due to appearance! I push myself out of his warm barrier much to my body's disagreement and look up at his face. The calm and lazy smile on his face vanishes before I could print that image into my brain, his eyes – which are the most amazing colour of cobalt I have ever seen – are clouded over with such emotion that I feel myself falling deeper and deeper into his soul… _What the hell is going on…? _I thought, however before my brain could come up with a reasonable explanation I hear his voice shred through my being… and although I can't make out a single word in which he is saying I can't help but feel a tremble… "oh god…"

_Mamoru Chiba…_

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**Fin.

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_review and make me happy :3_


	4. IV How Do I Say

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_I do not own SM _

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**It's All Because of You  
(Rated MA) **

_eM.pHi _

**IV. How Do I Say**

_How do I say hello? I just wanna talk to you…  
how do I say you're beautiful? When I can't take my eyes off you…  
I don't wanna say the wrong things; I want to use the right words to impress you…  
How do I say…?_

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To say that her brother was acting out of the ordinary was probably considered to be the biggest understatement of the year. Not only has he been happier for the past couple of days, smiling and chuckling more, which made him appear younger; his whole form has changed, from the serious business man to the slightly playful and sarcastic little mole. And though Rei was happy for him, his attitude was doing nothing but dampen her already shitty week, making her feel way older than she was and making it seem like she was the stooge of the family (when under _normal _circumstances he was the stooge).

They were having breakfast together today, a strange sight to see two Chiba's together in the house, for the male always seemed to be at work at abnormally early times, while the female thought it best to have a perfect amount of sleep in order to face the tiring and at times boring status of her lifestyle.

The dinning room where they sat was huge, as expected of such a high class family, and though there were only two members that resided at the home (besides the maids, butlers and helpers); the dinning table was made fit for a herd of people. He, being the older male of the household, sat at centre chair, which gave him view from all angles of the room. And although most of the times, he was seen sculling down burning hot coffee and rushing out towards the door with the daily newspaper under his arm and a heavy looking briefcase on the other, today he was seen sitting peacefully reading his newspaper and drinking his bitter coffee at a moderate and human like pace.

Rei sat down to the left of him and eyed him curiously. It wasn't everyday that she saw her brother at home, let alone in a calm and relaxed state as he was… it was kind of… nerving…

Stirring the quickly inedible cereal around her bowl, which had turned mushy from the milk and her lack of consumption, Rei never took her eyes off of him. The male Chiba, who happened to be reading the daily times with an unusual smile upon his face, had such a relaxing air surrounding him that Rei wanted nothing more than to punch his face in. _and see if you'd still be the chirpy little bastard… _the thought aggravatingly.

Though by the quirk of his left eyebrow and the sudden twitch of his lips, Rei could tell he knew she was watching his every move. This only caused her blood to boil even more so than it currently was. He was like a god damn robot! Costumed to do everything within the same period of time within the same manner… like how it took him exactly three minutes of reading before he would pick up his coffee with his right hand, take his eyes off the newspaper for a split second before taking a sip of his coffee, smiling at the (disgusting) taste, bring it back down and continue reading.

Yet there he was, oblivious to her stare, choosing to play dumb in order to make her crack. "It seems that I'm blessed with your presence today dear brother… could it be that you finally realised that working like you did would make you look older, and therefore uglier?" she stated in a snappy voice, yet still trying to be ignorant of his presence.

He looked up from his newspaper to give her a ridiculous stare, noting that for the past few days Rei had been like a firecracker snapping at the strangest things, which caused the household to tread on quiet feet. And as utterly amusing as it was to see that his lovelysister act the way she does, since she was normally always so damn vivacious about what not going on in the world, it was also difficult to lighten up the mood once she had contaminated the room with her dark and PMS like atmosphere. Today however he had made up his mind that he would get it out of her, and therefore make the air around here easier for everyone.

"Before I say why I've decided to stay home today, and grace you with my so called presence, I want to first thank you for your worry dear sister" he said sarcastically, folding the newspaper up before placing on his side and calling out for breakfast – thinking it best to have a full stomach in order to tackle the tyrant he called his sister.

"Who said I was worried?" she resorted sticking her tongue out at him, acting like nothing of her age but rather more like a mere child who didn't know the word _fuck off _existed as of yet. Mamoru chuckled helplessly before giving a quick thanks to the maid who brought him his eggs and toast – scrambled with salt and pepper lightly cooked, he always liked the yolky feel, and two pieces of toast, golden brown on both sides. Not burnt. Never burnt.

Before he could answer her question, although rhetorical it was, "You've met someone haven't you?" escaped from her lips.

Taking a long sip of his coffee he smiled at her twitching, a habit she had when she was anxious to know something. "I meet people everyday" came his mocking reply, as he took a bite of his toast (which was smeared with an unhealthy amount of butter). She flipped him off at that moment, and being the gentlemen that he was simply chuckled at her childish behaviour. Sometimes he truly wondered if his younger sister was 20 years of age, it was difficult to comprehend since most of the time he found her dancing around the mansion with a comb in her hand singing at the top of her lungs, or simply pouting at his stupid answers.

"Smart arse" she muttered before giving up on probing him about his personal life. _Sometimes there was no point in teaching an old dog new tricks. In Mamoru's case, teaching him to open up to his sister instead of being a complete tool and answering my questions with either another question or a stupid comment… baka…_

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Waking up the next morning was hell for a particular golden haired beauty. Having only slept for roughly five hours in a span of two days she felt that he eyelids were about to give way and close forever on her. The sleepless nights however, had nothing to do with the large amount of work that she had suddenly consumed through her firm, nor was it the fact that someone had continued to call her only hanging up afterwards, which freaked her out of her mind. No it had nothing to do with that. The sleepless nights had to do with a particular raven haired devil called Mamoru Chiba. The man who had stolen her heart all those years ago, and possible… still has her heart now.

Bumping into him was the most unexpected thing she had ever occurred within her life. And being a lawyer at the most promising law firms, whose motto was always _expect the unexpected_, she should have been prepared for this. Yet the moment she had bumped into him (more like collided into his still brick-wall like chest), she had been living in a world full of questions. She was feeling useless, defenceless and most of all confused. And after so many years of being immune to those emotions, she felt like complete shit and couldn't stop her mind from working on overdrive to solve this mystery.

Therefore the moment she had stepped into her office, where she received many hideous looks from her employees whom were so used to her proper and cold air, and stumbled into her chair and laid her head upon the hard mahogany desk did she feel utterly crappy about herself. Fumbling around for the phone she pressed a button which had become all too familiar to her through the years and mumbled incoherent words to her secretary. However, being her secretary and friend for over a month the message couldn't have been clearer.

"When you ready, would you be a dear and come into my office for a tick Minako?"

When Minako had entered her office, the girl almost had a heart attack, the steaming hot cup of coffee almost falling onto the ground and staining the cream carpet with a murky brown. Her boss, who was always so at the top of her game looked like she had been dragged around in a blender, ironed out to perfection and thrown back into a blender. Her hair, though in a bun, was done messily, her suit crinkled all over and her eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep.

"Wow… you look like shit" Minako stated, closing the door towards her boss and close friend and walking towards her. Though they had only known each other for a short period of time, Minako had grown to treat Usagi like a younger sister, even if Usagi was a few months older than her. If one were not to know of their background, one would think they were twins, what with their golden blonde hair and their crystal blue eyes, it was hard to tell them apart. Yet if one were to look closely the difference was evident.

While Usagi's hair was more of a white golden blonde, Minako's was more toned to a strawberry. While Usagi's eyes were more of a sea crystal blue, which changed colours darkening and lightening with her mood, Minako's eyes however, stayed a cobalt blue and only changed a dark emerald green when the weather turned for the worse. Another major difference would be their height. Usagi being a few months older than Minako stood only up to just above her shoulders – even with heels. It was something she had always hated, as no one ever treated her seriously as a teen.

"Your generosity warms me Minako…" Usagi bit out sarcastically, her temper shortening by the lack of sleep she had consumed. Raising a hand up in defence, as the other held onto the coffee, Minako sat across from her table and settled the cup down before her. Placing both elbows on the hard wood, holding her face with the palms of her hands and cocking her head slightly to the side, Minako waited for Usagi to bring herself together.

And though drowsy with the need for sleep and angry at her brain for continually showing her images of that stupid man, Usagi noticed her dark circles under Minako's eyes and her now more prominent cheekbones. There was something bothering Minako, Usagi just knew it. It was a talent she picked up during law school. Even at you're most weakest, watch everyone's movements. They could be the answer to winning your case. Minako was stubborn like she was, and Usagi knew that even if she probed her with questions, the girl would not crack. It would only take time and trust for her to finally rely on Usagi. Yet the feeling of this being deadly wouldn't leave her nagging brain. Something was wrong. Something bad.

"You know I was only stating the obvious Usagi" Minako said, smiling, even if it didn't reach her eyes.

Sighing inwardly Usagi thought it best to avoid bringing up her problems as well as Minako's and getting straight to the matter of business. "Whatever you say Minako, but the reason why I called you in here is regarding something important. I want you to find someone for me. I just need an address. That's it." Minako raised an eyebrow. It wasn't like Usagi to ask her to find someone. _Odd…_

"Name?" Minako asked picking up a pen and a scrap piece of paper from Usagi's desk.

"Chiba" Usagi stated, noticing the way Minako's hand had hovered above the paper in a state of shock before writing down the name.

"First name?"

"Mamoru. Mamoru Chiba …"

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He stood there looking her at that very moment, not believing his own eyes as she stood before him, probably just as dumbstruck, or maybe more at the fact that they were face to face. Who would've thought that after all these years they would meet each other again? Out of all places also too! In the middle of a park, the cold wind biting at warmed skin, where hormones were rising by the second from overly energetic couples.

He wanted to hold her, crush her within his body before she had angrily let go when he had asked whether she was alright. Who would've thought that the little girl who ran into him was none other than the woman who has been plaguing his mind for all these years…?

"Usko…?" he breathed, his voice questioning, as if trying to comprehend that the girl standing in front of him, was in fact the one and only woman who he had ever loved… and maybe… will always love… "Is that really you…?"

His hand reached up towards her face wanting to seek out the comforts of her warmth, but before he could reach her silky soft skin, she jerked her face away from him, seemingly frightened by his touch. His brows crossed in confusion, and the hurt was unmistakable in his eyes… why she was acting so cold towards him, he didn't know… hell, he still didn't know why she had left him like she had all those years ago… but that didn't matter… no, at this very moment, the only thing that mattered to him was that she was standing right there. So close that he could pull her towards him and feel her curves pressed against him once again. All he wanted to do was to hold her within his arms and kiss her breathless…

Maybe the hormonal couple had rubbed off him…

"I do believe you're mistaken… I don't know you…" she had stated, her eyes shielded over with nothingness, the prosecutor air of her emitting clearly from her being. So she had become a lawyer like she had wanted to all those years ago… he was glad… yet the undeniable feelings of pain was too hard to bare… what had he done to have her hate him so? It was endlessly a question in his mind. However, the fact that she was acting ignorant to him and her angry yet cute glare only caused him to hold back a chuckle.

How Usagi wanted to slap his face, slap the hurt that was seen clearly in his cobalt eyes… slap him because he was making her feel like, like she didn't belong in the world for hurting another being. "You must have mistaken me with someone else" she had said with a quick and professional tone, but one could inevitably feel the cold shoulder she was handing out for she radiated with a cold air, that the winter breeze couldn't even beat.

He smiled then, and her anger seemed to have doubled, how he found this situation funny was beyond comparison to her. In fact, she had felt this situation uncomfortable and unnerving. Never in her four years of being a lawyer had she felt unnerved like she was feeling right now. He was causing her to feel such useless emotions all over again, and she wouldn't take that.

"You've change Usagi…" his voice was so soft and deep, like the bass of a romantic song, and if she Usagi wasn't careful, she could see herself falling for him all over again.

"Like I said, I don't know who you are" his eyebrows rose at her statement, and it took all of his control from bursting into a fit of chuckles.

"How I wish I could say the same my dear… but I could never forget those eyes of yours… or the fact that your clumsiness still hasn't improved after all these years." He watched with mild amusement as she began to shake with what seemed to be anger, though with the cool breeze passing through their thick articles of clothing, one was never too sure.

"Why you… you…" she stated, trying to find the most horrid words to fit with his unbelievably annoying personality. However, before her brain could formulate such an insult she was cut short by his chirpy tone "handsome man? Why thank you dear Usagi, you truly have touched my soul with you _kind _words…"

She wanted to knock his face in at that moment, wanted nothing more than the pleasure of giving him physical pain knowing all too well that if she weren't in a public place, she was sure she'd done so already. "Still the cocky bastard aren't you Chiba" she hissed, venom dripped with each word she spoke through clenched teeth. She watched him smile, his dimples showing ever so subtly… damn the man and his good looks! Even after all these years he could still make her feel so weak in the legs.

"So you admit that you do know me after all dear Usagi" he said, his smile growing wider as he saw grunt over her stupidity, and only when he heard the faint "fuck" from her did he start to chuckle at her cute personality… _she still hasn't changed that much…_

"It's hard to forget a complete prick like oneself…" she hissed. Her eyes darkening over to a thunderous blue, the wind, at that moment gusted over causing her golden locks to unravel from her scarf and flutter around her. To him she looked like a goddess, _if goddess' look like they're about to go for the kill… _he mused silently. He noticed that her hair had grown longer, almost brushing the tips of her waist. He liked that. It made her look more like an angel that feel from the heavens above.

"Do not forget my dear, you used to love this _prick_" he teased smirking slightly as her cheeks were stained by pink and her eyes darkened more so if possible. He had always loved that aspect of her eyes. They were the clearest of blues, shinning like the most precious piece of diamond owned by the gods. Yet the slightest changes of her moods could cause it to lighten to an almost grey blue to darkening to the colour closest to black.

"Well I must say it was unpleasant bumping into you, I hope I never see you again in the future" she hissed, turning around to walk out of his life once again. When that happened something snapped inside Mamoru, he couldn't let her leave, not again, not like this. He needed to know what had happened between them, wanted to understand why she was so cold, so different to him…

She took a few steps from him only to be stopped by his firm yet gentle grip on her hand. Turning around in anger she opened her mouth to explode at this sexual harassment. However, before she could say a thing he cut her off with a kiss upon her lips. He was gentle, questioning really, asking her for permission for a kiss that was so wrong yet felt so right…

Her eyes were wide open, but the moment she felt his tongue enter her she moaned – despite herself – deep in her throat, feeling her eyes close upon instinct. She was losing herself into him, she was losing again… falling for a man who broke her heart… she couldn't do it, she just couldn't… not now… _stop…_ her mind pleaded, she wanted to… god she wanted to but she couldn't…

Suddenly the kiss was broken and when she opened his eyes she saw the amusement upon his face. _He had enjoyed that…_ she thought, feeling hurt, humiliated and most of all angry at the way her body had responded to such a simple touch. Tears wanted to fall from her eyes, her heart wanted nothing more than to cry until it bleed with blood…

He watched her eyes turn into a deep purple like blue, and he knew she was beyond upset. The tears that threatened to spill from her was heart wrenching. Holding her face in his hands he kissed her cheek, his heart almost stopped when he felt a teardrop upon his lips. The salty taste only caused the bleeding in his soul to burn… he hadn't meant to kiss her… but the moment she had turned around the image of doing so was overwhelming… the image of wanting to do that so many years ago… to stop her from leaving him…

"Have dinner with me next week" he said, breaking her train of thoughts and causing her to look at him with widen eyes. Out of all the things to say to someone you had just practically molested, you ask them to have dinner with you. Usagi was confused, what in gods name was this man thinking? Who in their right mind would say such a thing, to someone they had just met after years of not talking each other, and possibly hating each other.

"What the fu-"

"Next week my dear, 7.00 sharp. Come to my house, I want you to meet my sister first" he said cutting her off. Turning slightly he walked away, not before yelling over his shoulder, "don't even try to back out of it, I know you work for Kino and Mizuno Corp. I will call you up on the day to remind you. Don't be late. I trust you'll be able to find me." His smirk was clear as he turned and walked away.

Usagi stood there, staring at him and wanting nothing more than to fly kick him right where the sun don't shine. Confused and slightly amazed at how he knew she worked at Kino and Mizuno Corp, Usagi couldn't help but feel… well… she didn't know exactly how she felt. She was happy, happy because he actually knew where she was the whole time they were apart… yet sad… sad because… because she had also known where he was… and had known of his flings…

She wasn't sure what was going on in his head at the moment, but if he believed himself to be nothing more than a player, wanting nothing more than a good fuck then he was so mistaken. _It'll take more than kind words, sweet kisses and delicious foods to get into Usagi Tsukino's pants, _she thought turning around and walking home _I'll make sure of that_.

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**Fin.

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**Yes I know it's been a long time. I'm sorry! I spent weeks on this! (I kept reading over it and thinking that it was beyond shit) so I hope it worked out in the end! This is probably the longest chapter I have ever written! It's been hell trying to get over this writers block so this better be worth it! Make me happy with reviews :)**

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed in the previous chapters. It was amazing! I loved reading them, and they always manage to put a smile on my face. Please ignore the grammatical mistakes and what not. I'm really shit at proof reading.


	5. V One Sided

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_-_

_I do not own SM _

-

**It's All Because of You  
(Rated MA) **

_eM.pHi _

**V. One Sided **

_I've noticed lately, you ain't the same and I…  
apologise for all the times I made you cry  
you're emotions go crazy, confusing my lately…  
I know you're worth, what you deserve…_

_-_

_-_

Addiction, such a simple word could hold such grasps on someone. It mightn't seem like much, but addiction can break souls… tear families… and cause death amongst its lackeys… odd, how in order to live, one must succumb to their addiction… only to ultimately die in the end… addiction was a nasty thing, evil, relentless… cunning… it destroyed even the strongest of them all, the ones who seem unbeatable, inhumane. Even they, could be in line for addictions twisted ways…

One of these so called, inhumane beings was Usagi herself. Yes it seemed that even the toughest of lawyers fall under the spells of addiction. To those who know of this addiction find it surprising, some even laughed and questioned whether something so trivial as that could be counted as an addiction, but to Usagi, her addiction was her destroyer. It had caused her shame numerous times over and over again throughout her adulthood… yet it seemed that today would be the worse…

It had been a week since that incident with Mamoru, the man that had stolen her heart, only to break it so. And although it was only a week, it had seemed that he had yet again invaded her life. The image of the raven haired man with his unforgettable azure eyes resembled somewhat like a bug, an annoying bug that would buzz around within her mind until she would wake up in bed with a hot sweat dripping from her brows. It seemed that her dreams were becoming more… vivid, to say the least…

He was a dangerous man…

She had buried herself in work, sometimes even staying at the office until the break of dawn, and although she had completed her work for the next two months, it seemed the employees and her employers had little to celebrate about, as she was a walking time bomb ready to explode. This only happened to prove to Minako what a walking wreck she was after seeing her ex once again.

Because after being snapped at for no particular reason Minako had, had about enough. She sat Usagi down and demanded why she was being so damn jumpy all of the sudden. This only made Usagi mumble something incoherent, and then began to speak in jumbled terms of how randomly she had ran into her ex, who happened to be Mamoru, and how he had been so egotistical, and a complete jerk, yet managed to make her feel like she was the only person in the world.

This made Minako thoroughly confused and therefore forcefully kicked Usagi out of the office, and demanded that she relax.

_More like kicked my arse out of that office and demand I don't return until I'm sane… _she thought moodily, it wasn't her fault that this stupid man had to be so infuriating, she had it up to the peak of her sanity before she would seriously began to go almost psychopathic.

The feeling of joy was felt lesser and lesser each day since the moment she had ran into him, and to make things worse tonight marked the night that she would see him. Just this thought made her feel almost sick to the stomach. Could it be that she was feeling abnormally nervous? If only the fool hadn't called her that afternoon in such a chirpy mood, reminding her of her early death, then Usagi wouldn't have been this… annoyed – to say lightly, as she felt nothing more than to ram her tiny fist into his family jewels.

_Are you sure it's your fist and not something else Usagi…?_

Stupid voice. Shut up.

Curse the man for his ability to cause her to feel as if she were a confused teen yet again, fretting about the worries of boys and sex. She was an adult of 23! Those years of puberty had vanished many years ago, and she'd be damned if she had to feel them again. They had caused her hell back in the day, confused, angry, and annoyed and no way in the 7th seas of hell would she ever want those emotions present once again.

"Cunning little bastard…" she muttered under her breath, only to blush furiously as an elderly woman in front of her turned with a tsk, and gave her a bit of a dirty look. Thank god that she was feeling at her lowest, or else she would have made herself a bigger fool by glaring back and giving the lady a good talking to. Sometimes she wondered why god didn't give people the ability to read minds – it wasn't like she was swearing at the child before her. _Damn that man for causing me to feel like such a fool! _She cursed colourfully in her mind. He was driving her crazy, to the point that she questioned her sanity.

_Life could simply not get any worse_…

"Ms. Tsukino… is that you?" a husky, oddly familiar and dreadful voice sounded from afar.

_Why god…? I was a good child…_

Usagi cursed loudly in her mind, as she did not want to receive another dirty from that woman before her. It seemed that god liked to play dirty on her today. It wasn't embarrassing enough to be mistaken as a mere child on their first meeting, standing here before her addiction will inevitably cause him to question her adulthood once again.

She had to gulp a _large_ quantity of _normal_ before she could face him, where she knew lay an amusing smile upon his face. Yet when she had managed to pull up all her years of training as a lawyer, and voided her face of emotions, what she saw for a split second almost caught her off guard. _Almost. _

Emotions had run so intensely through his eyes that she was almost overthrown by the depth they had. His eyes were like windows into his soul, and for that moment, she had felt his pain. Yet it disappeared as soon as it came, and the amused smug look was plastered on his face. _Bastard…_ she thought, wanting nothing more than for him to feel pain.

"Well… I must say it's an amusing yet delightful surprise to see you here." A deep chuckle escaped the grand canvas of his body when he had reached her, and it seemed that at that particular moment, the sex pheromones of women within a 15 metre radius of him grew substantially at his mere existence. Usagi grunted in annoyance, as she watched the female species practically frothing at the mouth.

_Pathetic really…_ she had thought so disgustingly, it wasn't bad enough that everywhere he went back in the day, that women were practically at his feet, but it seemed that over the years, not only have the numbers grown substantially, but losing their sanity and human like nature was just too much. Did they have no dignity? It made her feel slightly robbed that her fellow sisters weren't radiating extreme hate at this god like man. "What an unpleasant surprise seeing you here" she hissed, causing him to smile at her even more.

It didn't seem to bother Mamoru at the latest that he got under her skin. In fact it gave him much joy to be the centre of her hatred. It was a game of cat and mouse. Yet instead of a mouse, Usagi would be more like a rabbit, and instead of a cat, Mamoru would be more like a lion. _A damn handsome and powerful lion. _Although sometimes he wished he affected her in other ways than just pure hatred, for the closeness that he had once shared with her was indeed, dearly missed.

But he was simply enjoying this too much to bother at the moment. At least they were communicating in some way, whether it be words of disgust or annoyance.

"Work was driving me a little insane so I thought I'd take a bit of a break. Walking does wonders you know? Though it gave me a great shocker to see you here… especially someone like you dear Usagi"

"Why you pompous, infuriating, conceited-"

"Yes I know it gives you great satisfaction in saying such _loving _words to me dear Usagi, but I must ask you, why, is someone at you stature, standing before a lolly skill tester?"

Her face grew bright red at his statement. Really, he didn't have to go and state the obvious, couldn't he be at least human enough to realise that she was a victim of addiction? She had thought she'd grown out of these years ago, but it seemed that no matter where she was, what she was doing, or if she was in the midst of something else, once her eyes have landed upon a lolly skill tester… she was at it with a fierce vengeance.

Mamoru wanted to chuckle at the annoyed pout she had upon her face. To his relief he was glad to see that she hadn't changed completely. That somewhere deep inside that cold shell of hers, the old Usagi still had a strong hold. He could still remember the moment he had seen her at one of these skill testers. Such determination was radiating from her as she cursed, mumbled and grunted each time she missed one, yet smiled, laughed, cheered and taunted the machine each time she won.

Even when he hadn't known her at all during that time, he'd felt contentment to simply watch as she used up so much energy on such a simple machine. In fact their first meeting happened during one of her… energetic visits to the arcade.

After a very tiring and shitty day at university, all he wanted to do was simply go get a nice, strong black coffee. He felt that his energy levels were slowly dying and nothing but a good hit of caffeine would fix it. Once he entered the arcade though, he couldn't help but almost break out in a wide smile as he watched the girl with the long shiver blonde hair play at the skill tester.

It wasn't a lolly one today – which was odd – today she took her anger out on the stuffed animal one. But after failing miserably for god knows how many times, she'd given up and flopped down on one of the chairs at the counter, ordering a very large double chocolate and strawberry ice cream, with extra whipped cream.

He would never forget the look of surprise and happiness when he'd placed the stuffed animal next to her. Her blue eyes changed from a dark grey-blue to an almost crystal blue.

"_I saw how determined you were…"_

He was bought back to the present however when he was gracefully shoved out of the way in order for Usagi to play. Just watching her made his eyes soften, and the fond smile to linger upon his lips. Sometimes he wondered why she had left him, because, as much as he try to deny it… he still loved her. Loved her more than anything in this world.

Shaking his head slightly at her muttered cursing, he stood behind her and watched. At times like these he wanted nothing more than to feel her body pressed up against his, feeling her mould into his body as if they were two halves of someone.

It was too bad he had to ruin her mood…

-

-

-

"Stupid, annoying, conceited, egotistical-"

"You know a simple thank you would be much better to listen to"

They were sitting in a quiet little café at the moment, and while Mamoru had a smile upon his face throughout their lunch, Usagi was the complete opposite. A thundercloud could be seen hanging over her head each time she muttered curses at him from under her breath. Odd for she was the fairer of the two, and seeing her in such a mood made Mamoru chuckle lightly to himself.

He had truly been missing out on too much over the past years.

"Bloody bastard…"

He watched her over the rim of his coffee cup, wondering whether she would be out of words soon. Though it was highly unlikely, it never hurt to wish. Okay, so it was partly his fault for causing her to be in such a foul mood, but it was just too much of an opportunity to ignore. He couldn't really help it if she sucked on skill testers.

"Freken wanker…"

So he kind of teased her each time she lost at the skill tester. So he kind of laughed when the child after her had gotten more lollies than she had. So he kind of provoked her into wasting more money in order to repair her dignity, she really didn't have to speak so… _colourfully_ of him.

"Faggot…"

Okay so after losing roughly 20 worth of coins on the skill tester, she had accused the machine of being rigged and demanded her money back. And okay, he'd pushed her to the side to show her that the machine was in fact not rigged, and that she just sucked really badly, by winning 20 worth of candy back. She should be thanking him. He totally had reimbursed her.

"fuc-"

"Sweetie, honestly, I understand that you love me, but could we stop with the pet names?"

The face that Usagi pulled almost made Mamoru chock on his coffee. He couldn't really explain it, but it was a mix between being totally disgusted to just swallowing a soar lemon. And even if it'd only lasted for about a second, Mamoru would never forget it. It was just like her to not give a rat's arse on what people thought of her. Even when she was a highly recommended lawyer, the best in Hong Kong and Japan, her straight forwardness and ability to crack someone made her a force to be reckoned with.

Even if she'd changed slightly over the years, in Mamoru's eyes, he knew he could get her back.

"There a much worse names I could give you _dear_" she said through gritted teeth. She knew that if she held onto her coffee cup any harder that it would crack and the hot content would spill all over her hands and expensive suit. _Not to mention the stupid man sitting before me would simply find that utterly amusing, and I would never be able to live that down_.

"I do hope you mood is better during dinner tonight Usagi dear, laughing when eating is a difficult task to do"

"I hope you choke on a large piece of steak you bastard"

Mamoru kept a smile upon his face, even though the words she had uttered had caused his heart to sting in pain. How could he crack her if she were so stubborn? "You really wouldn't want that my love, who would pay for the bill?"

A grunt gave him the affirmative that he had won their petty argument. Him Mamoru Chiba, had won an argument from Usagi Tsukino the highly sort after lawyer. Maybe he should've been a lawyer instead.

Standing up he looked down at her in a kind and gentle smile. "I'll come pick you up at 7 tonight" when she had opened her mouth to protest he cut "only because I know you'd make up something and end up either leaving me stranded or pretending to be sick" throwing down a few notes, he left her sitting there, probably glaring at his back.

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**Fin. **

**Yay! After an extremely long wait for the chapter I'm finally able to finish off this chapter!! Longer than normal which is a good (: just over 5 pages along! Hope you like it. I feel the chapter isn't exciting, but at least it isn't all sad and depressing like the others lol. **

**Review and make me happy (:**


	6. VI Heart Attack

_-_

_I do not own SM _

-

**It's All Because of You  
(Rated MA) **

_eM.pHi _

**VI. Heart Attack**

_Feels almost like I had it all along...  
Every problem is gone...  
its unbelieveable how love can set me free...  
You changed my whole life_

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_-_

Sitting there in his room after a long walk home, Mamoru found himself in a deep daydream. Rather than feeling slightly disappointed that the lunch hadn't gone to plan as he had wanted (he actually wanted Usagi to fall in love with him after winning back all the money she had lost upon the machine), even if it was his fault that she lost all her money to begin with, he still he enjoyed himself nonetheless. It was a nice change from all the stuffy client interaction he'd been having all week, not to mention the whinny female companions that used to cling to his arm in a death grip. For once in his life, a very attractive, smart and quick tongued female despised him to the core, and it gave him much joy to see her try to fight him off.

It gave him an even greater joy to see that her defence system was breaking ever so slowly and ever so slightly each day that he was with her. Either that or he was somewhat delusional, although he'd prefer the first assumption to be correct rather than the latter.

After arriving home and forming his dear, surprised sister (after literally running into her in the hallway) that he had finally found the one (yet again), he'd walked himself up into his room and sat upon his large mahogany bed, with an even larger smile plastered upon his face. Rei, though was happy to hear this surprising piece of news, especially coming from someone like him, she still couldn't help but be a little doubtful.



During the rare occasions when Mamoru had actually opened up to her about his past, he had told her years ago that he was once in love, but she had left him without a clue, and therefore had resorted to his little flings to stop his cravings. Rei must admit that even though that was a completely stupid and _male_ thing to do (considering that he was literally listening to his penis instead of his perfectly function brain), she didn't blame him for being the way he was.

That afternoon had turned into night quickly, and the house was quiet. Rei had left on a date with yet another _poor bugger,_ while the helpers had left for the night. Therefore leaving Mamoru all alone in the mansion, where he felt content in being. Sitting there all his lonesome, he had no idea how long it'd been, with him just sitting on his bed thinking, about her, about their past, about their sweet memories…

Everything was crashing down around him, and images that seemed to be from years ago flashed before his eyes and his mind in such a whirlwind, it surprised him that he wasn't getting head spins. Memories of the very first moment he had laid eyes on Usagi, the moment of their very first kiss… the first time they ever made love… everything was still so clear in his mind, considering that it'd been years now since he'd thought about them, let alone allow his mind to wonder to those times (especially the love making time, since it always seemed to give him a slight discomfort _down there_), he couldn't help but permit a small smile to emerge as he remembered their very first encounter when he spotted her in the arcade literally glaring and swearing at the skill tester…

-

_She was just muttering incoherent words when she stalked away from the machine, and I couldn't help but let a small chuckle escape. She was truly a walking contradiction. One who looked like a gentle angel, with her long, waist length blonde hair and shone so brightly against the light, to the blazing blue of her orbs. It didn't help that she was wearing a white summer dress either. _

_Yet there she was, cursing even the most colourful of words to something that literally had no idea what she was saying. it was weird, but I knew the moment I laid eyes on her, that she was special. Someone I could be with. _

"_I saw how determined you were…" I had said, placing the stuffed animal besides her. The look of surprise and pure joy that erupted over her face and the smile that she had given me was something I would never forget. It was the brightest smile I knew she could muster… it was the prettiest thing I'd ever seen. From that moment, I knew she was different. _

_And I liked that._

_Standing there was getting extremely awkward, so I decided to slide down next to her, and order that coffee I'd been craving for, it'd been a long day at university and I was literally brain dead. But just seeing her was like a bright shining light, and words of devotion and lust was rolling endlessly through my mind. _

_Whilst waiting, I couldn't help but watch from the corner of my eyes as she played with the stuffed animal. It was an adorable sight, the joy was radiating from her completely, and because of that, once again I couldn't stop the smile from appearing on my face. _

_She's a gentle person, I could tell. She cared for others and smiled to strangers just because she was that type of girl. She was simple hearted, yet loved with such greatness that it put all the angels in heaven to shame. Her white blonde hair waved slowly down upon her shoulders, and those amazing crystal blue eyes of hers… astonishing. _

"_Thank you… so much" I heard her whisper softly. The tiny amount of pink that brushed her cheeks caused the something to stir inside me, what it was, I wasn't so sure, but I knew I had to have her. She was looking intently at the countertop. Probably too embarrassed to face me, I mean, it's not every day that a random would give her something she had wanted with a strong passion. _

_Unless that person was a stalker. _

_Damn I hope she doesn't think that I'm a stalker._

"_I'm Mamoru Chiba; it's a pleasure to meet you" _

"_Usagi Tsukino…" I heard her whisper. And I couldn't help but let a chuckle escape me. _

"_I'm not going to eat you…" I had said, and watched as the pink on her cheeks grew to a red…_

_-_

Mamoru let a fond sigh to escape his lips, it wasn't everyday that you find the girl of your dreams standing there playing upon a skill tester… hell it wasn't everyday that you actually get the girl of your dreams as simple as he had. Maybe that was why he'd lost the girl of his dreams so easily… maybe there was a rule in dating…

Thou shall get the girl of thy dreams, if thy fight thy arse off.

Maybe karma was back to bite his arse for being such a lazy boyfriend all those times when he had her. He had to admit though, after thinking about it as thoroughly as he had been recently, since the day she literally ran into him, that he wasn't the best boyfriend in the world back then. Sure he had moments, but most of the time… he was an arse. There were times when he was inconsiderate, snappy and annoying… but they had been dating for so long (to the point that he was playing with the idea of marriage), that he'd become so comfortable being around her, and just… stopped doing the sweet little things he knew she liked.

He supposed that it was mostly from the fact that he knew with all his heart that she loved him, and he knew that she would never leave him because of that love… how wrong he was.



But he would change that, he thought as his back began to straighten. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right? He'll fight for her, he'll do everything in his will to have her… because he knew that without her he wouldn't be able to enjoy the life anymore… really enjoy it, because for the past years he's been nothing but a walking liar.

Through all the smiles he was giving to everyone, they were all fake, sinister, or just there to get a particular lady to fall for his charm, enough for him to have a bed partner for the night. And although it was fulfilling for a time, it just wasn't enough… he needed love, it was called love-making after all… and he knew that the only person who could make that wish come true… would be the woman he would be seeing tonight.

And he couldn't wait to see how she planned to getting out of this one.

-

-

"Why that insufferable man!" Usagi huffed whilst getting change in her room. She had just received a call from him not so long ago, telling her that he was on his way,

'_I'll be there in fifteen minutes my dear, sharp.' _He had said.

She had answered by slamming the phone back into its cradle. He drove her crazy, but it was a different crazy. She wouldn't consider it a crazy where she wanted to kill him crazy, although there were a few close calls, it was a crazy, god I think I still have feelings for you because you are so extremely good looking still, but god damn it if I fall for you again, crazy.

Tonight just wasn't her night. Although it started off good, she hated how he could easily ruin something so easily with that stupid sexy smile of his, and the way his eyes just wondered lazily up and down her body. It gave her the shivers and the creeps at times, and although she could tell him to stop, a part of her didn't want him too.

It seemed that nothing was right at the moment. After being literally kicked out of work for the next couple of months, Usagi had nothing to do. She breathed, eats and lived off her work, and without it was difficult to function. The constant ringing in the brain was driving her crazy… she was losing her mind, and it'd only been half a day!

"Why won't that damn ringing stop!" she growled, only to realise that the ringing wasn't in her mind, it was actually the doorbell. Cursing at her stupidity, Usagi matched towards the door and yanked it open "do you simply not have the patients?!" she yelled to whoever it was that was standing at the door. Tonight was a bad night, and Usagi was in a foul mood.

An all too familiar chuckle makes her blood boil even more as she looked up at him with blazing azure eyes. Only to see his ones smile ever so sweetly back at her. "My, I must say that although I very much love what you're planning on wearing, I don't think I'd be able to fight off the enormous amount of males that will be literally at you feet my dear" he said, with humour clearly laced into his words.



"What the hell are you talking about you stupid man?" she questioned him, already walking away from the door, allowing him access into her home.

Shutting the door behind him, Mamoru chuckled again, causing Usagi to tremble slightly by the husky sounds it was making.

"Black lace always did suit you… though, I never realised you were a thong person…"

And once those words had left his lips, Usagi let out a pelted scream.

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**Fin.**

**Well… I hope you enjoyed that. I know it's been awhile since I've updated this, and therefore hope you guys aren't that mad at me… ehhehe… **

**Just like in my other stories (which I hope you guys would have to time to read) I have posted a poll upon my profile and would greatly appreciate it if you would fill it out! xD **

**I only have one exam on the 17****th**** so until then and after that I would most likely, have more time to update. **

**Do not fear, I will try to finish this story off even if it kills me x)**


	7. VII With You

-

_-_

_I do not own SM _

-

**It's All Because of You  
(Rated MA) **

_eM.pHi _

**VII. With You **

_Whatever you need…  
just depend on me…  
your solider, your friend, your lover…_

_-_

_-_

"Come on Usagi dear," he said, staring amusedly at her sour face, "you have to admit, it was pretty funny" she didn't give him an answer however but deepened the glare that had permanently secured itself upon her face. And though she wanted this to make him feel slightly bad about his constant teasing, it only caused him to chuckle wholeheartedly, throwing his head back faintly as his rumbles vibrated to her.

Much to her displeasure.

Shaking his head somewhat, he couldn't help but question her, "Where had your sense of humour gone?" with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. _It vanished the moment it saw your ugly face_, she wanted to say to him, but resorted to glaring at him with a much stronger fury. It hadn't helped that Mamoru decided to pick the restaurant that they were currently eating at, but he also managed to pick the most sophisticated and high class restaurant in all of Hong Kong, where it was known for its fine wine, and mouth watering foods.

Not to mention the amount of high associates that resided here during either business meetings or private dinners with their loved ones, and therefore had Usagi keeping her temper and her posture in check. Although she weren't currently active within the legal field, due to her friends… _concern_… to say the least, she still had a reputation to uphold, and not a stupidly childish and damn right annoying creature of a man would ruin that for her.

He chuckled deep in his body again, and Usagi had to practically sit on her hands in order for her not to literally turn murderous and stab his handsome face (multiple times) with her fork that looked surprisingly sharp, which she eyed several times throughout the night. It was already hard enough to stop the mad blush that wouldn't leave her face, let alone the fact that her eyes have started to sting from the consent tension of it being in the menacing glare she was aiming at him.

It was already extremely embarrassing having the one most hated person in the world seeing you in nothing but under garments, but it was worse having to endure his sly snickers and stupid comments all through the ride to his place (in which she met his sister, and immediately started to like, for she was nothing like the arrogant and stupid man sitting before her), to the restaurant where he still continued with his stupid chuckling. It was driving Usagi crazy, and if she wasn't in so much control, she would have already jumped across the table, tackled him into the ground and ripped his stupid hair from his head.

Curse her luck for having to run into him after so long.

"You know," he said, swishing the wine carefully around his glass, "it's not fun just sitting here, when my date, whom I know can uphold a perfect conversation, sits there mute whilst glaring at me" taking a sip, he watched above the rim as she seemed to seethe, if possible, with an even stronger anger than before. It was enjoyable, watching her lose control over her emotions like that with him, considering that she, from research, was known to be the most passive person in the entire legal field. And though he wished it could be other emotions rather than complete and utter hate, it still amused him to no end.

"I don't talk to Neanderthals" she hissed through gritted teeth. And even though the look of shock that passed so briefly across his face had satisfied her to an extent, it was gone as fast as it came. And once again he threw his head back in a roar of laughter, which, unfortunately seemed to catch the eyes of many females residing in the room, therefore giving Usagi another reason **not** to attack him with her knife **as well** as her fork.

"Clearly I am no Neanderthal, for you have just spoken to me neh, Usagi dear?" he answered her cheekily, giving her a sly smile as he took another patronising snip of his wine. This only gave Usagi a much better reason to ignore him. He was simply someone that drove Usagi to insanity and back, he was so… annoying handsome, so stupidly good looking, so god damn infatuating that it was making her question her current state of mind.

She hated him; she was so very sure of it. And yet, there would be moments when she'd catch him looking at her with such… emotion evident in his eyes that it was hard to hate… and although those glimpse vanished just as quickly as they came, and was replaced by a mocking look, she couldn't stop the fact that she **had** seen it, and it **was **there… and yet…

"I must admit, you do look good in lace"

That was the reason why she hated him to the core.

A sigh could be heard from her side of the table, even though he knew she tried to hold it back, caused Mamoru to look at her intently. There was defiantly something wrong here. The Usagi he knew would come up with an insulting remark and fight him, until the death, about everything that came out of his mouth, just because it came out of his mouth. However, the woman, that looking astonishing tonight, sat before him looking nothing but exhausted.

His eyes soften considerably and he placed a hand towards her side of the table, "hey, I'm sorry, I'll stop now, promise" he said, and watched as she looked into his eyes and searched into his soul. Once she was sure he was being truly honest, she nodded timidly and brought her hand up to give him a reassuring squeeze. "Its nothing, I'm just so tired… it's been awhile since I've taken a day, let alone have a holiday off work, and I don't think my body's adjusted to its free time" she whispered softly, confusion clearly written within her azure orbs.

After working her butt off for so many years, her body had come so accustomed to her rigorous hours and stressful life, that doing nothing just had her feel exhausted and empty. Her days were so boring now that she felt so out of place in her apartment.

A cough from a waiter brought them both back into reality as he poised his pen above his pad in waiting for their order. Mamoru had to bite the inside of his mouth from growling at the man for interrupting. It was such a nice feeling, having the warmth of her hands over his, and he missed the way her skin felt so soft… yet the moment was gone when the waiter arrived for she snatched her hand back so quickly it looked like she had been burnt by fire.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," the waiter stated, eyeing Mamoru with an expression of something that represented distaste, "but are we ready to order?" Mamoru gave him a cold smile, wanting with all his might to tell the damn waiter that, no they were not ready, considering that he was had just started to get somewhere with her, until Usagi giggled slightly and nodded her head, bringing the waiters attention (and an annoying charming smile) to Usagi.

"We're sorry to keep you waiting Motoki," Usagi stated, shocking Mamoru slightly. "But we're ready". Calculations where literally turning within Mamoru's head, it was obvious that she knew this Motoki… character… and it was clearly obvious that this character found her considerably attractive and was attracted to her, which meant only one thing to Mamoru.

Motoki was a threat.

"I would wait an eternity for you Usko," Motoki said, winking at her, his green eyes sparkling at the cheekiness that his message held. Another giggled from Usagi had Mamoru clutching the table cloth with a harder force. His cerulean eyes storming over considerably, and although he gave no facial expression of his anger, his eyes represented the worse of thunderstorms. No one ever called Usagi Usko unless that person was Mamoru and Mamoru alone. That nickname was given to her when she had ran to him crying so many years, and he'd be damn if he let another male call her something that was the only thing that was his from her.

"Please Motoki, you're embarrassing me" she said smiling back at him, the million dollar smile that she used to only give to Mamoru… she was giving freely to this Motoki. Mamoru could feel his blood boiling, the bastard, who did he think he was, ruining such moments, and then completely taking the spotlight completely off him?

_The nerve of this… of this… mere commoner._

"You know I would never do such things my rabbit, merely teasing…" he said, giving her wink again before scribbling down something upon his pad, "the usual I'm presuming my love?" another giggle from Usagi and it took all of Mamoru's might to not stand up and punch this Motoki in the face. Throughout the whole dinner he had done nothing but get an emotion of hate, and a little bit of understanding, from Usagi, and this stupid Motoki comes in within the span of five minutes and manages to get giggles and smiles out of Usagi. His ego was bruised, it was bruised badly.

"As much as I love being ignored, I would also like to order," Mamoru's cold voice, dripped with sarcasm, came from his side of the table, the glass of red wine poised elegantly between his fingers, "if that's alright with you?" he mockingly asked, never taking his eyes of Motoki as he drank the final contents of his red wine, and placed it ever so gently upon the table once again.

A shiver ran down Usagi's spine as she heard the cold calculating tone coming from Mamoru, never had she heard such a tone from him, and it scared her. Yet she was also curios at Mamoru's quick change in posture. He seemed angry, almost murderous as he eyed Motoki with what seemed like an ongoing hate. And what made it even more confusing was that Motoki was doing the same, glaring back openly at Mamoru as if he were nothing more than trash. The tension that was vibrating from those two also made her uncomfortable, causing her to fidget in her chair.

"Why certainly… I always treat Usagi's clients with just as much gratitude as I do her" Motoki replied, smiling a smile that was far from friendly. It was then that a noise that almost sounded like a growl emitted from the core of Mamoru, gritting his teeth in a twisted smile, understanding all too well the underlying message that Motoki was conveying, and oh he was going to enjoy the look that crossed his face when he told him the truths of this dinner.

"And as much as I'd love to have the pleasure of being Usko's client, I must inform you that I am in fact her-"

"Friend" Usagi cut in, before Mamoru could do anymore damage. She gave him a look that told him enough was enough, before giving Motoki another smile, "he'll have the same as me, please Motoki," she said sweetly, waiting as he scribbled this down, with what seemed like more vengeance, and swiftly turned and walked off.

Once Motoki was out of earshot, and once Mamoru had stopped glaring so dangerously at his back, he turned back to Usagi, looking between a mix of hurt and annoyance, "Although I should be flattered that our tastes in meals are still the same, I wish you hadn't interrupted," Mamoru said, eyeing her as she watched Motoki leave with what seem like some sort of affection.

"And let you tell him something that clearly wasn't true?" she asked, turning back to him, the smile vanishing from her face completely. "I'm sorry for invading your personal space before," she said clearly stating about the physical contact that they just had, "but you should be lucky I even mentioned that you were a friend when I was literally dragged her tonight," she said with irritation evident in her tone. It wasn't like him to be all, protective and what not with Usagi, and although it would've been flattering if she had some sort of attraction to him, she thought it to be out of his character, and slightly annoying.

Mamoru felt something like a razor blade stab through his heart at what she'd said, and although he didn't show it, he'd never felt so low in his life before. It wasn't the nicest thing to hear from someone… especially someone who you were currently trying to win over. In fact, it hurt so bad that he was starting to feel slightly sick in the stomach. Like an invisible hand had punched him right in the gut, and it was getting incredibly hard to breathe. It was yet another blow to his already bruised ego, as he watched the steps that he had built before Motoki interrupted, vanish in an instant.

"What exactly is this… Motoki character to you?" Mamoru asked, trying to hide the clear evidence of dislike from radiating from his mouth as he literally spat out the words that strung together his competitor's name. If he was something more than a friend to Usagi, Mamoru wasn't sure if he'd have enough control to not walk over to him at the bar table and punch him square in the face.

"We're friends Mamoru, he's been by my side when I had nothing," she said, eyeing him with a wary look. "What we had, had been just that, something we **had**, it's been years Mamoru…"but before she could finish, she was stopped by a Mamoru's surrendering hands. Shaking his head, he gave her an almost sad smile.

"Just tell me… what was your history with him… and I'll leave it be, I'll pretend this conversation never happened…" he almost whispered, wanting nothing more, than to feel that elation he was feeling previously when he thought he had gotten somewhere with her. This was turning into more of a disaster than the dinner that he had planned so elaborately in his mind. This was all going wrong, she was meant to open up to him, he was meant to be a little closer to her iced up heart, rather than ten steps from where he had begun.

Curse that Motoki, the damn bastard.

And yet she didn't answer him, she couldn't, for the dinner had arrived. The aroma, although delicious made Mamoru more angry than hungry, once again stupid Motoki had to arrive at the worse possible of times. And what made it worse, was the fact that the bastard had heard his question, and therefore decided to answer for Usagi, much to her displeasure.

"We were engaged"

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**Fin. **

**So yes, the longest chapter that I have written so far for this story! I hope you like it! the words were flowing after awhile, and although it took me a total of four nights to write it (as I had work in the mornings) I was happy with the way it turned out. a little mix of humour and angst for my beautiful readers XD **

**Enjoy and review and I shall update quicker ;)**


	8. VIII Better Than Me

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_I do not own SM _

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**All Because of You  
**_(Rated MA)  
_所有由於您 (あなたのためにすべて)  
by: eM.pHi

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**VIII. Better than Me **

_I know you got a man…  
But he could never be…  
A better man…  
Better than me…_

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It felt like fire, like a burning sensation engulfing his soul, licking at his already bruised ego and heart. Looking at her, he felt that every single moment that they had spent apart through the years caused the flames to grow larger, and the hate for Motoki to grow in such an amazing pace that it was difficult to not stand up and wring the waiter's neck.

It seemed like the moment those words had left the mouth of that Motoki character and floated around before smacking Mamoru right in the face, he was in a world of denial, total and utter, black and white, 'as if' denial. Yet the moment his brain had, much to his displeasure, comprehended that particular sentence, the food that looked so compromising before, almost made him sick to the stomach. The wind felt like it was being knocked out of him and once again it was getting extremely hard to breathe.

The words '_we were engaged'_ echoed over and over in his mind, just a simple sentence as that, seemed to do nothing but break the already shattering heart inside him. Just the mere thought of _his_ Usagi, the love of his life, had accepted the eternal bond, the bound that brought two people together… from someone other than him… it made him sick, it made him angry, and god damn it, it made him almost murderous with rage.

He wanted to tell her that he needed her around; he needed her to be with him in order for his world to start, she hadn't left his mind in years. There was just something about her, something about Usagi, and as he stared disbelievingly into her eyes, he could see everything he'd always wanted. All the times that they had been away, the times that he spent without her touch… it killed him inside…

Mamoru wanted nothing more than to spend time with Usagi, he wanted nothing more than for her to fall in love with him all over again… he wanted to be with her, to be happy… like they were when they first started. The news that had shattered the dinner date and soured his mood, made it difficult for him to smile, be professional in such a situation and accept the fact that she had someone else. That she had someone to share meaningless time with just because it felt good to be together, that she had someone to hold her when she needed to be held. It made him so damn angry, and although he wanted with all his might to blame this stupid factor on Motoki and his interference, he had no one else to blame but himself. It was his fault after all, for wanting to know something that clearly had nothing to do with him. Even if Usagi had been his to begin with, she was after all a free woman, and they had separated so long ago… it was a natural thing for Usagi to go and find another man…

However, Mamoru wished that man was himself. He wanted to be the man who bought her that engagement ring (that he just now realised that she was still wearing), and the one who she could open up to so easily, someone who she gave her beautiful smiles to so freely… god damn it, he wanted to be everything of hers, and yet… yet this stupid Motoki came waltzing in and had taken everything he'd wanted right under his nose.

Damn the bastard. Damn him to hell.

It was crazy, and simply not fair, and Mamoru would be damned if he was to be beaten so easily by someone as simple minded as Motoki. Mamoru could tell, hell he basically knew, that if Mamoru was with Usagi right now, he'd understand all of her needs, he would lay down the world right at her feet… he would make her his everything. He would right all the wrongs he had caused back then. Hell if Mamoru had proposed to her, it would be something that would never be forgotten, something that would be unexpected, that would sweep her off her feet, and something that meant everything to her.

"I'm sor-"

"Well that was a shocker" Mamoru said, cutting Usagi off. He didn't need her sympathy, not now. The only thing he wanted right now was to punch Motoki in the face and kiss Usagi senseless, but that would have to wait. "Congratulations" he said, his voice although calm, collected and showed a hint of amusement, was the complete opposite of his actual feelings.  
Deep down he felt the insides of his being burn in fury, he was angry, and if he wasn't careful, he'd lash out at Motoki like a crazed lunatic.

Looking at him, Usagi couldn't help but feel guilty. If she hadn't known him long enough, she wouldn't have caught the darkening of his eyes, and the way his posture although looked normal, was stiff around the shoulders. She could tell it was awkward just sitting there, watching as the two people, one of whom he hated with a passion, commute silently to one another, bouts of unspoken words were being flashed between the two, but Usagi needed time with Mamoru to explain herself, even when she wasn't so sure why she had to.

There was history between them, and although try as she might, the fact that she had known him for half of her life did mean something to her, and she couldn't throw that away, even if he were the one to hurt her to begin with. The feelings she had for him, although now were more flaccid than a burning hunger of love, still were considered feelings of love, just… in a different 'I hate you right now, but we're still friends' sort of way.

Left alone to _enjoy _what dinner they had left, Usagi could tell Mamoru wanted to finish it was painlessly as possible. It was the twitch in his right hand, and the way it couldn't stop tapping at the table as if wielding it to quicken the time. She could also read it in his eyes, even if it was came as quick as it went; she saw the pain in them. And knowing him, he'd do anything to cover it up with grace and humour. He was always like that. That was Mamoru… and once upon a time that was _her _Mamoru…

Sighing, she bought a hand up to massage her left temple, the engagement ring glistening under the light, mocking Mamoru with the fact that the woman sitting before him, in his reach, but she could never be his. All because of that stupid ring. He watched, watched as she picked up her necklace and began to twiddle with it. It was something Mamoru always did when she was in deep thought and she was aware of it. He never used to hate it, because she always used to pull the cutest face. But at this moment, it was nothing but a serious nature, just a simple playing of the necklace, and Mamoru hated it.

He felt so… lost and somewhat cheated. The image of his happily ever after was shattering before his very eyes. They were gone before he was even able to grasp it and imprint it in his mind. This wasn't what he'd pictured, and it was killing him because at this moment it looked like there was nothing he could do. His thoughts were snapped as he heard the echoing of champagne glasses clinking with one another. It was as if suddenly his ears popped and everything was crashing around him. Laughter sang endlessly as everyone enjoyed each other's company.

Well, almost everyone.

They sat there together, across from one another; there could not have been any more tension. He was a man of strength who exuded nothing but masculinity and power, while she was dainty and delicate but exuded independence and courage. Though their personalities and aura was similar to one another, the image they conveyed couldn't be more contradictory. They looked like they belonged from different ends of a spectrum. They created the perfect replica of ying and yang, and it was because of this that they were able to balance each other out. Years of history together couldn't break the bond that they once shared. Not even Motoki could break such a bond.

And Mamoru knew that. He knew it so well, yet…

He was normally so strong, yet tonight he felt nothing but weakness, his broken heart seemed to have nothing left, and the empty crevasse that filled his soul was killing him. He could feel her stare burn into his being, yet he could not lift his eyes to meet her crystal blues, for he was shamed, shamed to show just how weak he really was.

So instead he stared, stared at the single red rose that stood so diligently upon the centre of the table. Some of its petals fell onto the white cloth, staining the serene image, like blood being spilt upon snow. Mamoru kept his eyes on the rose, wanting with all his might to place the petals that have fallen, back onto its body, wondering why something so beautiful, so harmless, could die so effortlessly… an ephemeral entity…

Just like love…

"I'm sorry…" she whispered, "for not telling you sooner" the softy spoken words sounding oddly loud to his ears. Shaking his head he gave her a tired smile. Not really looking her in the eyes, yet not looking away from her either.

She stared at him, willing him to look, but like every other time that they had an argument in the past, he would smile, look past her, and say "don't be sorry for something that wasn't your fault", but this time he wouldn't kiss the tears that fell from her eyes…

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The clock on the wall chimed its eerie melody, signalling the arrival of midnight. Mamoru sat at the edge of his bed, his clear azure eyes no longer shone with mirth and hid underneath the thick bangs of his hair. He slouched, his back hunched, defeated. His large hands were clasped together on his lap, and they tightened each time a thought of a particular rabbit with an annoying cocky hunter entered his mind, yet relaxed and shook with such emotion each time he saw those tears that glistened down her face…

When he had arrived home Rei had expected to see a cheery man with a grin upon his face like he had when introductions were passed between her and his date. However the man that came home looked so torn between hate and pain that it almost broke her heart. Never before had she seen her brother like this, even if she'd only been with him for a short period of time, and it was disorienting altogether.

It had been hours since he'd arrived home, and as soon as he had, he'd walked pasted Rei and straight to his bed, the door closing softy behind him, making Rei wished that he'd slam it instead, at least then she would have an excuse to see what was wrong. But she knew he just needed time to clear his mind…

And did he try, boy he tried, but the evening just replayed over and over in his mind, like a broken record that didn't know the meaning of stop, it wouldn't go no matter how hard he concentrated on something else. It was… less than pleasant to say the least, and the tension was so thick in the car that he wasn't so sure how'd he managed to breathe throughout the entire ride home. The information that was processed tonight just seemed too much. Hell the entire week just seemed like too much.

He hadn't expected to see her, yet he had. He hadn't expected to be remembered by her, yet she had… he hadn't expected for her to be any more beautiful, yet she was… he hadn't expected to fall so hard for her, yet he did… he did however had expected her to move on… yet it still was such a shock… such a massive shock into his system that it was hard to believe… he didn't want to believe, but the feeling… the feeling of when those words were heard by him… it was still so clear, so evident…

He loved her, god he loved her so much… yet tonight, tonight showed him just how one sided his affection was. She didn't love him, not in the way he wanted at least. Hell he wasn't even sure that she loved him in a friendly way… why couldn't she see that she literally held his world in her dainty hands? Why couldn't she see how much she meant to him? Why did she have to be so oblivious to his pain? Was he so sheltered with his emotions that even her eyes couldn't penetrate through them? She could read him so easily before… what changed?

Did he?

Or did she?

"_What we had Mamoru… it was a long time ago… I've moved on… you should too…" _

But he hadn't moved on… at least not as far as she had. Sure he had his share of fun, but now he wanted nothing more than to settle down and be with her for the rest of his life. It had taken him a long time, but he was finally ready to completely give himself to her… What could he do? She was gone, taken away before he had the chance to hold onto her for the last time. There wasn't any other way for him to have her now; she was already taken, blacklisted from all the single males in the world.

What would you do? If the one you loved was no longer yours? Would you let them be? Let them live their life hoping and wishing that it was yours as well? Or would you fight? Fight for another chance to have your happily ever after with them? What did Mamoru choose?

He chose to fight of course.

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**Fin.**

**Yes… I know my bio did say I would update at the end of September… but… this is close to that date! I had to make sure the story was at its very best, this chapter had be going insane with its crappy-ness, however I have a beta, my friend PattyPat, who I love to bits, and am grateful that he had the chance to salvage the shit work that I have created. **

**Hope you can all forgive me for the lack of interesting aspects to this chapter, and I will try to update as much as possible (but knowing me that wont really happy – give me reviews though and that might change! xD) yes I'm bribing for reviews, so sue me.**


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